Happy Birthday Nara Shikamaru
by SasuTenLuvr
Summary: It's Shika's birthday, and you know what that means! No, not that, you perverts! Rated for possible animal abuse, mythological creatures, and sheer annoying-ness. :D


**Hello happy people! Sorry I haven't been around much, but I couldn't miss this special event of Shika's birthday!**

**Sasuke: You missed my birthday.**

**I made you a cake, you ungrateful boy!**

**Sasuke: But you didn't write me a birthday fanfiction, did you?**

**Okay, look. **

**Anyway, I hate to do this on Shika's birthday fic, but I need to ask my readers a VERY important question. But because I'm evil and just to keep you in suspense, I will save it for the end of the chapter. :D**

**Anywhoo, I don't own Shika or Konoha...or a deer-nicorn, unfortunately. T.T**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Nara Shikamaru lay on his back, in his favorite cloud watching spot, on his favorite cloud watching hill. What with all the insanity going on, it was good to be able to catch a break and relax. He found himself getting lost in the clouds and their white, puffy shapes.<p>

'I wish I could be a cloud,' he thought lethargically, eyes drifting closed.

He woke up a few minutes later to two giant eyes obstructing his vision.

Immediately he yelled- a very un-Shika thing for him to do- and backpedaled, whipping a kunai out of his holster and pointing it at the intruder.

"Hey, hey! It's just me!"

Shikamaru recognized the person immediately and sighed, pocketing the kunai. "Troublesome. It's you."

Clearly insulted, Suten stood up and dusted herself off. "Well! And when I went to all the trouble of coming here- oh, and making this!" she added, gesturing to her outfit.

Suten was wearing a brown tank top with a large, furry white splotch on it- clearly made to resemble a deer's underbelly. She also wore white leggings and no shoes. A headband with deer ears and antlers completed the look.

Shikamaru eyed the headband and fur. "Please tell me those aren't-"

"Psh, silly, of course they're not real!" she waved a hand around dismissively. Then she grinned. "Or are they?"

The Nara was suddenly filled with the urge to count all the clan's deer and make sure none were missing. "I should call the ASPCA on you," he told her, annoyed.

"Oh, lighten up, Deer Boy! I was kidding! I would never hurt an animal!" Suten put her hands on her hips. "Anyway, you're distracting me. I'm here because," she sucked in a deep breath, "IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, SHIKA-KUN!"

He stuck a finger into his ear and wiggled it around. "I think I've gone deaf..."

"And because it's your birthday, there must be fun-making and celebratory-ness!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him away.

Shikamaru sighed. "So much for a quiet, cloud watching birthday…"

Blink.

Smile.

Twitch.

Bigger smile.

"Suten."

"Yes, Shika-kun?"

"…what the heck is that?"

"Well, it's a deer-nicorn!"

Deadpan.

Smile.

"…a deer-nicorn."

"Yup!"

"Suten, that's a deer with a glittery horn glued to its forehead, covered in white paint."

"Nooo. It's a deer-nicorn. The missing link between deer and horse."

"I can see the paint dripping off it."

"That's not paint. That's MAGIC."

"…Magic, right. Troublesome."

"Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"Eventually you realize there's no arguing with me."

Shikamaru sighed, looking over the poor deer again. It kept shaking its head furiously, apparently trying to get rid of the horn. That's just sad.

"Well, aren't you gonna ride it?" Suten hopped on the deer's back, patting behind her with a grin.

"…I'd really rather not."

"Come on! It flies!"

He gave her a look. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not! Deer-nicorns fly!"

"That's not a deer-nicorn."

"Yes, it is! Please, Shika?" She gave him the puppy dog eyes.

Sighing, he raised his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. I get enough of those from Ino."

"YAY! Come on, get on!"

Silently pleading the Nara clan ancestors to forgive him for going along with such deer abuse, Shikamaru got on the deer.

Suten patted its neck. "Okay, enough acting like a deer, buddy."

Wait, what?

"Let's fly!"

And with a whinny and a cloud of sparkled, the deer took off into the sky.

Yes. It actually started flying. As in Superman, Santa's reindeer FLYING.

"How?" Shikamaru croaked when he'd regained his voice. "How is it flying?"

She gave him a look. "Duh. Because he's a deer-nicorn." Then she laughed. "And here you thought I was crazy."

"You ARE crazy!"

"Meh, details, details. Look!"

Suddenly they were surrounded by fluffy whiteness, like cotton. Shikamaru reached out and touched some. It felt warm and wet, like fog.

"How's that for cloud watching, huh, Shika?"

Shikamaru didn't answer, lost once more in the world of warm fluffiness. "Maybe this is what it feels like…being a cloud."

But of course, happy moments never lasted for the Nara.

"Eh, Shika-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"The, uh…the deer-nicorn's getting tired."

"And what does that mean?" He was suddenly aware that they had stopped moving and were just hanging in midair.

"Um…well…it means this."

And they were falling, the deer-nicorn plummeting to earth.

"Shika!"

"What?" he tried very hard not to look down. When he died, would it affect everyone like Asuma had?

"JUMP!"

He didn't even question her. He just jumped…to land on something spongy, warm, and wet, like dew.

"Yay, we made it!"

"…Suten?"

"Yes, my transvestite deer?"

Twitch. "Where are we?"

"We're on a cloud! At least until it rains."

Shikamaru looked around. He did indeed seem to be sitting on a cloud. And when he looked over the edge, he could see Konoha down below.

Waaaaaaaay down below.

He groaned.

"But hey, look on the bright side! You get to be up here with me!"

He groaned again, flopping back onto the clouds and closing his eyes. "Why me?"

"Happy birthday, Shika-kun!"

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><p><strong>The end! Yay, Shika!<strong>

**Sasuke: Aren't you forgetting something?**

**Hmm? Oh, right, right. The all important question. It is this:**

**I seem to have drawn a permanent blank for my two multichapter fics, I Love You, Neji and Our Father's Mistake. I have moved on to other stories, and I quite frankly just can't continue these anymore. I know most of you(sadly) don't give a flipping fladoodle about OFM, but ILYN seems to be a huge hit. Especially since I promised I would finish it, a promise I'm starting to regret making. T.T**

**So my question is: will you let me off the hook PLEEEEEASE?**

**If you don't Shiro-chan, Saucy-cake, Shika-kun, and Squee will come to your house in the middle of the night and-**

**No, I'm not going to threaten you! Especially since some of you would love them to come to your house at night- BACK OFF THEY'RE MINE!**

**Anywhoo...**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please review!**


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